A Little Humor: Give Thanks! By Keisha Gilchrist-Broomes

In everything give thanks; for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus.

1 Thessalonians 5:18 (New American Standard Version)

I have a small green notebook that I write in during my devotional time each morning. In it I record the scriptures that I've read, what I believe God is speaking to my spirit, and lastly, at least three things for which I am thankful. Well, as you can imagine, after awhile, I start to run out of original things to thank God for (you know, after I've gone through thanks for my health, kids, home life, salvation, answered prayers, and the like).

So one day last month I thanked him for something completely original: Mom jeans. Yes, Mom jeans! Here's why: Around 2004 when Oprah Winfrey was still showing off her newly weight-sculpted curvy shape, she would have a style guru on her show nearly every week. One of the things that I noticed is that the style guru would always say that “Mom” jeans should be taken out and burned. They all claimed classy women should wear sleek, dark wash, low rise, boot cut or straight leg jeans.

Well, I count it a blessing that I follow instructions real well. So, I threw out all my high-waisted, stretchy fabric jeans in favor of sleek, dark wash, low rise jeans. Now, the dark wash worked nice on my skin tone. The less-forgiving fabric…eh…I could get away with not having a touch of spandex as long as I bought a forgiving size. Low rise? Please? On a premenopausal short, curvy, black woman? Forget it. Low rise only looked good on me when I was standing stock still in front of the mirror. Once I bent over even slightly it was the Garden of Eden reprise.

But the fashion mavens are supposed to know what they are talking about. So, for five years I followed the low rise and belly button rise rule. I mooned everyone. Including my 11-year-old son who breezed past me one day saying “Mom, crack kills!”.

So last year, I ventured out on a buying jeans adventure and spent two hours trying on whatever I wanted. I found a pair of high-waisted jeans. I pulled them on, zipped them up and wanted to cheer. They covered the Buddha belly. They covered the backside. They covered the hips! Hurray! Now I own three pairs of “Mom” jeans. I wear them on rotation every week. They may not be haute couture but they fit within my personal daily clothing commandments, which are (ahem):

• Thou shalt be comfortable enough to move around, yet constrained enough not to feel as loose as a noodle.
• Thou shalt cover the Buddha belly at all times.
• Thou shalt cover the backside at all times, especially when bending down to pick up crayons, goldfish crackers, or a prone whining child.
• Thou shalt wash out all stains easily (tomato sauce, finger paint, tears, you get the point).  

I've had three kids and three c-sections. My tummy now looks like it’s been clawed by an angry tiger. So I thank God for my new Mom jeans! And I don’t care what Tim Gunn or Tyra Banks say!